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| Scene from Modern Times |
Back in February, I made the comment that I was going on an extended hiatus. For the first time since 2011, I was not going to be reporting on an Oscar Season, citing burnout and mental health reasons. I promised to return in August to give an update on how I was feeling. I was hoping in all that time that the story would play out differently but, every few weeks, I would return to the same prompt “Do I want to relaunch The Oscar Buzz?” and every single time, without fail, I was not motivated to say anything resembling a yes.
For as much as I’ve gotten better, where I’ve had happier days and been in better headspaces than I was back then, I find myself unable to work up the motivation. The website that began as a passion project in 2012 has become a bit of a burden, and even the fun columns like Failed Oscar Campaigns and Nothing But the Best have lost their muster. Do I still like what I did? Of course. I love the way it’s introduced me to a great online community. The issue is that for as much as I want to talk to them still, I just don’t feel like I have anything of merit to share on here anymore – at least for the foreseeable future. There is a chance that things COULD change, but as of today, The Oscar Buzz is closing its doors.
The news doesn’t come easy. It is why I gave myself the hiatus, wanting to believe that things would change. I am sure that many readers personally enjoy my commentary, look forward to the various pieces of history that I dig up. There’s so much that makes The Oscar Buzz as a resource feel valuable and yet, I don’t know that I have the passion lately to continue that project.
I recognize that a lot of it is mental, that a pandemic where I became overwhelmed by every waking tragedy ultimately caused me to collapse under pressure. It was the thousands dying daily, the rise in suicides, limited hospital rates, California’s never-ending fire season, droughts, and the terrorist attacks back in January. So much weighed on my mind that even using my skills to write about art in this way felt hollow. The whole year of Oscars felt empty, like we were just pushing off the inevitable until one day we had no choice. I’m thrilled that Nomadland won. I personally love the film. However, I watched the ceremony and felt some relief that for the first time, I hadn’t seen all of the Best Picture nominees, that I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t want to be an expert with inside baseball stats.
Yes, I will fully confess that a large section of this stemmed from depression that spiraled into its worst states around March and April. I admit that so many things in life were hard to stop and appreciate at that time. But even as I found myself reaching June, where I was finding happiness again, I just didn’t care. I was fine not looking at the new Academy members or the new schedule for 2021-2022. I was free to think about whatever interested me, and maybe that included watching The Eyes of Tammy Faye trailer. Maybe that included ignoring the entire Golden Globes fiasco. As much as these industries continue to give me rich anticipation, not having to sweat over in-house fighting or why Minari had poor representation at the Globes, my head was clearer.
I still have fears that stem from writing that Pieces of a Woman review, where I wanted so desperately to compose those eight paragraphs and express my opinion. But I couldn’t. Frankly, I haven’t written a proper review for something since January. Shifting my relationship to media criticism has been wonderful but it’s also scary. What am I even going to do with my life now – especially now that I have cut off my means of possibly meeting many people I follow on Twitter, who would probably be cool to meet at a film festival? Don’t get me wrong… I would love to go to TIFF. I just don’t want to do the “paperwork” as it were.
Will this feeling pass? One can hope. There might come a day where a movie inspires me to write in the familiar structure, churning out words in a manner that conveys my thoughts in an academic manner. For now, I struggle to feel connected to that way of writing, where I honestly more care about how the art speaks to me or culture. I’m more interested in assessing its place in the bigger scheme. Some may call it criticism, but honestly, I don’t feel like it’s done correctly enough to market around in this way.
I suppose that this is as good of a time as any than to say farewell in a reverential way. To everyone who has followed my website over the past eight years, I want to say thank you. From the bottom of my soul, THANK YOU. I love every comment you left me, correcting my small mistakes and sharing your opinions. I am grateful for those like BlueFox94 who constantly provided fun trivia to my Best Song column, or how I once got picked up by The New York Times for once (foolishly) suggesting that Saving Mr. Banks was about to sweep the Oscars in 2013. My piece on Easy Rider has been used as a reference in a college essay overseas. My accomplishments are small, but they mean a lot to me.
So much has happened because of this website and I’m very proud of what it’s done. It has been more than covering the news. It has in some ways become a full institution that I looked forward to doing regularly. I loved discussing film scores or even dropping theories for how I felt cinema should be seen differently. I liked chronicling A24’s entire filmography (which has moved over to The Memory Tourist) and even chronicling trivia for every Best Picture winner.
I am proud of how this website has evolved and, in some ways, produced a lot of my favorite work that I’ve written to this point. Maybe I never became the big hit that I could’ve been, but again I connected with like-minded individuals. I had Oscar winners like the Remembering Anne Frank director write me once. It felt like I was breaking through in my own small way, getting a small amount of clout.
Not bad for a website that started when I was 23, falling in love with cinema. The story I like to tell (in part because it’s the name of my first article) is that The Oscar Buzz began with The Master. It was director Paul Thomas Anderson’s long-awaited follow-up to There Will Be Blood, and the film had a profound impact on me. At times I felt deeply rooted in Joaquin Phoenix’s character. I was in awe of what acting was capable of. I followed his unorthodox campaign, realizing so much of what it would take to be an Oscar favorite by watching someone rebel against its very structure. In general, 2012 remains one of the most amazing years for cinema in my adult life. I long to have a year as fulfilling to discuss as that one – though maybe it’s just nostalgia talking.
But with The Master, I started that relationship with following creators on their potential paths to Oscar Sunday. I understood what it was like to root for films and loathe discussing others. I saw patterns emerge, understood the value of groups like SAG and PGA’s in relation to an Oscar win. Even the shift a few years later with Oscars So White felt like a powerful time to be fine-tooth combing what cinema meant to a public audience. I remain thrilled to have been there the night that Moonlight won Best Picture, when Parasite did the same only four years later. So much important rule-breaking history was made in this decade, and it felt more impactful because I was following the trends, living in the moment, and watching previously held patterns be broken. To say the least, it was exhilarating in ways that I’m sure The Oscars wouldn’t have been if I started in, say, 2002, just seven years off from a report that voters were largely older white men.
To me, the 2010s to today have been one of the greatest periods for Oscars possibly since the 1970s. The winners are far bolder, risk-taking, and diverse in a way that speaks to the moment. Yes, some years were less interesting than others, but wholly they were something special. I loved watching a prestigious horror film in The Shape of Water win Best Picture. I loved seeing Anne Hathaway win Best Supporting Actress and say, “It came true.” These small moments make me believe that deep in my heart I will always have a fondness for awards shows, especially as I watch actors I admire finally getting their due. Even Phoenix, who this whole website started with, got his due seven years later and boy howdy was that a triumphant moment for me – even if Joker is a largely inferior movie still.
That is the thing. I am not giving up on The Oscar Buzz because I suddenly hate what awards season has become. While it’s true that I greatly disapproved of pushing this season past a literal breaking point, I’m still someone who watched Judas and the Black Messiah and was proud to see Lakeith Stanfield finally get a nomination. It’s the little things that continue to drive me to the ceremony, even if this has been the most incomplete viewing-wise for me since 2008. As it stands, I still haven’t seen Minari and mostly remember the winner as that woman who flirted with Brad Pitt. Maybe one day this will change, but for now, I’m fine. I’m completely fine. Still, good on Steven Yeun for finally getting recognized.
I hope the time away from here is ultimately helpful, that I become a happier person and filled with reason to keep writing. I still do it with some regularity over on The Memory Tourist, which will perfectly explain where my style of writing is headed for the time being. It’s less awards-centric, more emotionally driven, and trying to find something personal in all art that I consume. I couldn’t do that with The Oscar Buzz, at least in ways that wouldn’t express a terrible bias. I may have come off that way from time to time, but it was never the intention of the website even when I was clearly playing favorites and getting sick and tired of talking about Silver Linings Playbook every single day.
To my readers, I want to say thank you for being loyal if for an article or all eight years. I love you for being there, for supporting me, and tipping me off to other great information that has come in handy. This has been an invaluable outlet, but one that I currently feel that I have outgrown. I hope to continue writing work that interests you and, in some ways, picks up the slack for whatever shortcomings you may have noticed in the website’s immediate history. It’s been difficult to keep up and not always fun to write stuff, but as a portfolio, it has been invaluable and I’m grateful to have done it.
This is where I leave you. Part of me wishes that this could’ve lasted forever, that it somehow could’ve landed me a chance to sit near the red carpet and watch people enter. Even on a smaller level, I was looking forward to 2022 because I was going to kick off Failed Oscar Campaigns with The Master to finally put that masterpiece into the books. I had enough articles to cite. But hey, it was an incredible run and one that I’m not ashamed of. I took a risk and wound up building so many connections that made me more adept at Oscar history and trivia but also just connecting with cinephiles of many different backgrounds.
Thank you one and all. It’s been a beautiful ride and I hope we’ll meet in some strange way in some other place very, very soon.
-Your humble narrator, Thomas
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